For better, for worse

Alex May

Former Young Talent Time star Philip Gould, 49, married singer Kate Lawson-Gould, 42, in 1990. They have five children, aged two to 13 - Ellery, Felix, Portia, Serena and Hamish - and have been through tough times as Philip struggled to find work. They have written a book, How To Find True Love Without Really Trying, based on their relationship.

Kate says "Having five children is either brave or foolhardy. I had to put my career on hold. We initially all toured together. Once we had three children, that had to stop and I made the choice to carve out a niche in other areas - teaching and directing.
When Philip finished The Wizard Of Oz - he was the Tin Man - in 2003, things dried up in show business. I was teaching workshops and everything was falling on my shoulders. The children were complaining because I wasn't home much after school. We had some tight times.
This year, I've had two miscarriages within four months. I would love more children; our house is filled with love and each child adds to that love but it's probably not right for me. I hate living in chaos but I had to learn to accept it.
When Philip and I sing or perform together, it's a great aphrodisiac. A telepathy happens and things emerge on the stage. This sounds corny but Philip amazes me every day. I never focus on the things I want to change about him because that makes the negative thing grow."

Philip says "Kate gives of herself all the time. We have been through hard times with money. Show business is scary: in work one minute, not the next. There were times when we were down to nothing in the bank and sending the kids to school with something to eat was hard. I can't tell you the amount of times I've taken on other jobs - working in shops and factories, real estate, telemarketing.
I've spent the past three years soul-searching. For me, performing is not the be-all and end-all any more. My family is more important. Kate and I make sure we have time with each other at least once a week and get a babysitter so we can just chat or see a movie. It's so easy to get caught up running the house and paying bills. The relationship could easily fall apart if we didn't make that time.
We are still affectionate. If you can get through a problem, you grow closer together. You learn more about each other in the tough times. Over the past three years, I went through depression. Kate was so supportive. To be able to support your husband through that and run a house with five children does make her a superwoman."