For Better, For Worse

originally published in Sunday Life, September 2005

By Alex May

Broadcaster and film-maker Dai Le, 37, first met her bargain-hunting German husband Markus Lambert, 45, in 1991. They have been married for 13 years and have a son, Ethan, 2.

DAI

“He’s tight, he’s so tight. When I first met him, he wants to show me his feature film script and get my advice about the Vietnamese community. I turn up to this meeting at a restaurant and when I got my wallet out I realised I only had 30 cents on me, so I asked if he could pay. I only had a coconut juice, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Well, he just went off raving about how he hated it when women assumed that a man would pay just because he asked her out. I told him I would pay him back next time, but I was really thinking ‘Mister, there isn’t going to be a next time’. It was two dollars. My God, he was carrying on over two dollars.
My family think all Germans are cruel and cold and stingy. When I met Markus, he had been in Australia for 10 years and I always thought of him more as an Australian. We laugh a lot together. He made me realise I had a sense of humour. He always has to explain dirty jokes to me because I never get them.
Markus can seem really arrogant. He’s just not tactful. When you spend time with him you realise he has a beautiful heart. One of the first things we did together was spend a weekend taking photos for a competition to win a trip to Europe. He knew I wanted to go to Europe so he helped me. We didn’t win, but we did get to Europe on our honeymoon.”

MARKUS:

“When I met Dai I thought she was loud and outgoing, very intelligent and beautiful. I proposed to her six weeks after meeting her. I had to do it in front of 600 people so she couldn’t say no. I knew Dai was going to these business awards so I got up in front of everyone and asked her to marry me. (Former Labor leader) Mark Latham was about to give his speech, but I stopped the show by proposing to Dai. She couldn’t say anything, she just kept gulping.
Dai’s family feels that Germans are not very generous of spirit. Racism goes two ways and they have a thing that Germans are mean. I don’t think a tight arse would spend $4000 on a stove. And I only had to make that point about paying for the coconut juice because a principal had to be established: I was not about to be gold dug.
I would actually love to buy Dai a bike. I want us to go cycling together. In the first week of our relationship, I bought two bikes but Dai fell off and refused to get back on. That made me so mad that I chucked the bike. Now I wish I could get her another one, one with big helping training wheels on each side.
And I think Dai has picked up my bargain hunting ways. She came home with a rocking horse that she paid $10 for at a garage sale. If her mother knew she had been buying other people’s garbage, she would have her barred from her house. Her mother thinks that it is a stain on her soul if her grandson wears second-hand clothes.”